Who am I

To give a straight answer...
I don't quite know yet. I have a fairly good idea but I'm not totally sure... I know who I hope I am, but whether I am whom I hope, I don't quite know. And here is my rational...

 

I believe that it doesn't matter who a person is on the inside if their actions don't reflect that. I would like to make the point that the circumstance permits and limits your actions; for example, you don't know how someone will react in a situation where their life is threatened until it happens. Thus that shows that you do no truly know that person until all conceivable situations have been witnessed. The same theory can be applied with ones self. So give me a few years and when I've been put into a wider variety of situations, where things really test me then I will have a greater idea of who I am.

Having said this, experience changes people; we live and learn through experience. This suggests that a person given the same situation twice would undoubtedly act differently towards the second that to the first. So as people grow and adapt through life surely they change. Surely with experience you find your true self? This leads me to think that people who have a life full of purpose and experience have a much better knowledge of themselves. A Buddhist monk sitting alone may know inner peace, but surely this is only because he has not experienced life, a life in which people that infuriate him or with the stresses of holding down a family and mortgage, surely inner peace would be less attainable for the same person put into an everyday society? A lot of people who believe that they truly know themselves seem to have limited the situations that they face thus provoking less chance to see the sides of them that may not coincide with the way they view themselves, but these are the parts that one needs to see and change. For if we just ignore these elements of ourselves then we are ignoring who we really are. Most of us do not live such sheltered lives; daily situations and regular people will provoke our less attractive side. To truly know and develop out who we are we need to deal with these situations, then learn and grow from them and ultimately deal with the situation in confidence knowing that this is how you truly want to deal with the issue. This is what I believe brings you closer to your true self. In modern society many choose to limit their experiences to the ones they feel comfortable dealing with, I believe this is what causes "small town syndrome". This makes a lot of people happy and contempt in their lives and that is something I have nothing against, but for those who truly want to discover who they really are, and this may only be the few, but those few cannot find out who they are unless they search for life experience, but not just once, again and again learning from each experience and thus becoming closer to the real them. I am not naïve and I realise that this is not an accomplishable ideal, but the steps that take you there are the only way to scratch off the surface that conformity has provoked. We change throughout our lives, I believe we can develop the more positive aspects of ourselves by thoroughly thinking through the way we deal with the situation that has been presented. The way you act towards a situation will lead you to act differently towards your next, so by making a conscious effort in your actions I believe that you can inevitably change how you will act on instinct, and also how your morality and view on how you should act towards a situation. So eventually by acting how you know you should, but generally would not usually act, you will eventually become a person closer to whom you want to be.

Ultimately, as far as you are concerned at least, I am different depending on who you are, as the situations, conversations and attitudes that you provoke will undoubtedly affect the way I act in your company. There are also situations where I am alone and only I know how I react to the situations I face. And the way I act in those situations determines how I view myself, which is undoubtedly the most important point of view, because with that comes one's pride and self esteem. This will obviously affect how other people view and act towards me and inevitably change how I act in response.
So at this moment who am I? There is only one conceivable answer I can give without foresight, and although it sounds cliché...
I suppose it depends who you are.

What a World This Could Be

What a waste of a life it would be,
to spend it by the sea.
What an unfulfilled dream,
To remain indifferent and unseen.
Yet most still regret,
That which they try to forget.
All that is left is an empty man,
When you neglect all you can.
Most are content with heart shaped bruises,
A lethargic life filled with Caribbean cruises.
Striking over taxes that are too high,
Yet we sit back and let Africans die.
Food prices rise,
As the distant well dries.
You feel the pinch,
They feel the punch.
If you could look a little deeper,
Maybe live a little cheaper.
Make these issues ones that win votes,
Ones that your government promotes.
Change our local society
To one of global propriety.

What a world this could be,
If we all thought like me.

Fear

In life I fear many things. I fear small things in my own social state, I fear competition against what I hope to achieve, I fear change from what I have become comfortable with, I fear for my family, I fear for my friends, I fear for myself, I fear pain and strife. Yet my biggest and most common fear that coincides with all others is the fear of fear itself. I fear that fear is the one thing to stop me accomplishing the world. I fear that fear is the one thing that puts a cap upon my ability. I fear that fear will highlight my inadequacies that would otherwise remain untouched. The fear of fear itself is the easiest fear to overcome, it can be overcome by an acceptance of life an acknowledgment of the inevitable. Thus an acquiescence of what is to come, and an unbreakable will to proceed shall remove any shadow of doubt of what I can achieve. I can achieve anything. I can become who I want to become.
You Stay Classy San Diego

We Need to Procede

As soon as I get into my groove
I start to see things that we can improve
Certain things for us to remove
So I get up and I refuse to move
If you get me up at the crack of dawn
Then I’ll put on my Khaki uniform
Get my body to go run and sweat
I want to be a modern suffragette
I crave for a day without combat
If you think politics is where you at
Then educate the proletariat
So put down your marijuana cigarette
And go storm the capital of Tibet

If you’re with Marx and revolution
Coups your instrument of execution
Only God gives you retribution
And you will not find absolution
I’m with Darwin and Evolution
Just want to stop the persecution
Just want to start the distribution
So we can find the kind of educated mind
We need to proceed against those who mislead
No more rhymes that are tit-for-tat
Or quady-voody-lemo and baseball bat
So just think
Sit back
Take a drink
Get out the paper
Get out the ink
And do something
Pride and ignorance go hand in hand
Against the ability to understand
If you are as polluted as Beijing
Then listen to Dr M L King
Propaganda’s ripe in everything we type
There is always another side to abide.
When we decide whether we need to collide


You only get one chance
Don’t be a minister for finance
Live for dance, romance
And of course, a cheeky glance
But never forget your stance
Because at the end of it all
I’ve listened to Peter and I‘ve listened to Paul
If Jesus, a normal man, can fall and crawl and still stand tall
Then there is hope for us all.
At least we’ll know we tried
You can all make ripples
Go change the tide.